noah-mcallister:

Evil genius.

Finally you realize my worth.

1 day ago     REBLOG
#SABRnoah  

I hacked into Larry’s email and forwarded his colonoscopy results to everyone in the office.

2 days ago     REBLOG

 

2 days ago     REBLOG
#ava  

Elijah & Ava

elijahtheloewe:

I take it this place filled you with all those megalomaniac ideas, it probably inflated your ego since nothing else outside in the real world did. How does it feel, to be empowered?

I’m just as good as you, that’s why we’re here, having this discussion, on the internet, because we’re perfectly incapable of dealing with our lives in person. 

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If you in fact are not into psychology then why are you trying to psycho analyze me? I don’t think I’m vital to society, I know I am. I will most likely own you one day, so I suggest you watch your tone. I feel as empowered by the internet as I’m sure you do for the flimsy piece of paper that you’re currently swimming in debt for.

Don’t place yourself on my stoop, you couldn’t even reach it. Secondly, I have to qualms about living in the real world. I’m at work amusing myself rather than answering phone calls. Please do continue prattling on about your theories though.

3 days ago   33    REBLOG

Elijah & Ava

elijahtheloewe:

That’s cute, thank god I didn’t go for clinic psychology or I’d be terribly interested in you as a case study. Thanks for the compliment, everyone tells me I’m a baby face, I hope I remain looking this young until I’m 60, helps with the ladies

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You’re already terribly interested in me, it’s a side effect of meeting me. It wasn’t a compliment, asshat. You clearly not very good at social cues, thankfully you’re not a communications aficionado either.

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3 days ago   33    REBLOG

Elijah & Ava

elijahtheloewe:

I didn’t expect it to be eharmony, all the failed relationships I deal with come from this site, I needed to find out. What brought you here?

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A mixture of daddy issues and hope that I’d find someone irritating enough to sacrifice in the name of Satan. Can you really consider the hookups from this site relationships? They last not even the better part of an afternoon. What do you even know about relationships, what are you 12?

4 days ago   33    REBLOG

Elijah & Ava

elijahtheloewe:

A couple I’m treating told me about this site, I joined for research purposes… Who am I lying to? This seems interesting… 

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This isn’t Eharmony, you don’t need to lie about your intentions.

4 days ago   33    REBLOG

Ava & Sylvia

somewhatsanesylvia:

Those are things you’ll never know, Little Avalon. 

As long as you don’t take any shit, you can try on as much as you want. Pablo will be a-okay, and I’m pretty sure he’s off the clock in an hour anyway.

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Who let you into my house? Was it Hannah? I’m in the third sitting room, so why the fuck didn’t she tell me you were here?

Just as well, I’d rather not have the nightmares.

Be honest, would you even notice if I took anything? You’ve got an entire fucking Macy’s in here. Is that booty-licious pool boy ever off the clock? His dedication to you is seriously creepy.

As if I would know what her name was. I just told some girl you invited me over and told me to let her have the night off. Seemed eager to get out of there too. Did you forget to feed your pets?

4 days ago   725    REBLOG

Ryan and Ava

goodneverwins:

I’d have Sylvia. 

Because you jumped onto my back mid-sentence and you know very well that I can’t do anything to you.

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I would say I value you more than my career, but that would be a straight up lie. I can make exceptions though, and this is one of them, mostly because we were lucky and I’m not due to be on air until November. 

Skeletor is not my replacement.

That’s only because I can’t sexually satisfy you like AIDS statistics clearly can. Well praise God that nobody will have to see your disfigurement. Fine, but if you’re bringing that hairball, I’m bringing Sylvia Jr. You’re carrying her, you know that little bitch is precious cargo so don’t fuck up.

4 days ago     REBLOG
#SABRryan  

maluhialanikahala:

…. You are fucked up.

Thank you!

4 days ago   16    REBLOG
#sabrmalu